Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in Tristan's LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 17th, 2005
4:17 am	Some things don't seem to change. I seem to be one of them. How utterly disappointing. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
4:55 pm	At university, cursing my inability to catch buses. Yes, it's me, back from the dead and writing on a computer that isn't my own. It seems that the solution I used to stop my computer from overheating was merely temporary, and I think the power supply has finally given up the ghost. Tomorrow I'll take it in to the city, and by that I mean I'll call the American guy who a) never has anything to do and b) has a car, which makes him a pretty handy sort of friend to have. Hopefully it'll be operable within a day, not having a working computer is, as you could guess, quite detrimental to my lifestyle. Still, it's given me time to think over my life, and made me realise that, computer or no, I'm still a fully functioning human being, just a little more bored. So, what's actually happening in my life? The frantic preparation for the National championships of Magic:TG has been the most time consuming event of the past few weeks, although I took it at a slightly less frantic pace. Frantic isn't a word that often applies to me. In fact, I don't really get frantic about anything. Maybe that's not quite right, but the exception to the rule is also the exception to alot of my rules, so it doesn't really count. My best friend Toli did well at the champs, thanks in part to the knowledge I provided, which gave me both a buzz and several hundred dollars. It's crazy, that the geeky card game I played when I was 12, has turned into an occasional hobby that pays for basically everything I buy. I saw a girl in one of the places I was window shopping earlier, carrying a small bundle, like you'd carry a baby, "pretty small baby" I thought to myself, until I actually got a look and saw that it was a kangaroo baby, not a human one. Weird. I thought afterwards, that if a girl wanted to meet a nice guy, then carrying around a baby kangaroo would be a good way of doing it. Any meathead would assume the girl was too "unusual" for their tastes, and the rest of the male population would find it a remarkably easy opening to start a conversation. "I'm guessing it takes after it's father?" I should have said it, but to be honest, I don't want to feel like I've actively sought the attention of a girl. At the moment thinking about girls full-stop is a touch painful. Well, I decided I'd write till it was classtime, and now it is, so I should wrap it up. Things are going pretty smoothly for me in general, everything's cool etc. I miss those I haven't had enough of lately but we can't always get what we want. *thinks* No, I always get what I want actually, in the end. Current Mood: 50% great Current Music: The typing of the keyboard lab (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
12:28 pm	A clean bill of health Disorder Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Low Antisocial: Low Borderline: Low Histrionic: Low Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive: Low -- Click Here To Take The Test -- Yeah, I know I'm a bit narcissistic, I'm dealing with it. Current Mood: content Current Music: The Cure - Wrong Number (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 15th, 2002
5:50 am	I don't http://www.icq.com/channels/life-and-love/events/wedding/gallery108.html Now, I am in no position to lay shit on people who have gotten married after meeting on ICQ, but christ, I am *not* like these people. In fact, clicking through these pages, looking at the pictures and reading the dates makes me realise that most people who take net relationships to such a serious level are either whacked or desperate. Things that you must never do: Propose to someone before having met them in person. Propose to someone before having lived with them, preferably for at least 6 months. Propose online, no matter what. Accept any of the above proposals. Get married before thinking about the fact that you don't actually have permanent residence in your future husband/wife's country. Have a wedding cake shaped like a computer screen with "ICQ" written on it. Have a wedding on a web cam. Post terrible wedding photos. My favourite quotes from the pages: "Imagine my surprise when my first husband announced that he had met someone on the internet (not ICQ) and was leaving me!" Yeah, imagine marrying someone who'd do that in the first place. "Every one thought i was out of my mind!!! What if he's phyco and so on and at the same time of course his family and friends were telling him the same thing. We met for the first time face to face 4 days before we got married" You're both "phyco". "we knew from the moment our eyes met that this was the "missing link" in our lives. We created a word to describe this feeling since we felt so "Complete" and "Satisfied" with each other...we call it "COMPLIFY" I just call it "lame". "When you are 30 (or 40 ) something and go back out into the dating world , the bar scene just doesnt cut it anymore" Are they saying that the internet dating scene does? "God works in mysterious ways and He works online!" Yeah, I think you can find him at www.heaven.com :-/ "We also play Age of Empires 2 - The Conquerors M/P while online!!! Can you believe that>?" Bianca doesn't play computer games with me :-( My sleepy carcass is being tempted by my comfortable bed, so without further ado, I shall cease. Current Mood: sarcastic Current Music: *shrugs* (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
5:23 am	It's late, and I'm approaching the stage where my body will say "that's it buddy, time to take this tired carcass off to bed", but I've still got a bit of time before that happens so I'll write in my infrequently updated journal. I have to say I'm pretty happy right now. I just took two really hard fought matches of Magic, and impressed my opponent, I'm about to dig into a cup of noodles, and despite having regualar little quarrels with Bianca we always end the night with a smile. My youngest brother doesn't add the dehydrated vegetable/prawn sachet to his cup of noodles so I'm using double the usual amount. Sure the prawns taste pretty old and the vegetables are bland, but rehydrated food is just plain cool. Besides, carrots and peas don't have a particularly pleasant taste, so making them bland suits me fine. I'm in the mood to dance. I blame my music, I set the EQ preset on Winamp to "Club" so eveythings got more of a beat to it. There's nothing quite like dancing in your chair to good music, feeling like you're the only soul in the country. Anyway, I think my noodles are calling me. Oh yeah, I got a birthday party invitation, with silver pen and everything, how proper. It's from Cherie, a friend I haven't had much contact with since Year 12, but who I've always gotten along really well with. Claire will be there too, I had a crush on her for around 6 months, but never really acted on it. It's a total time warp talking to her on the rare occasions I see her, takes me back to '99. We'll do our usual thing, to everyone else it looks like flirting but we just laugh and tease each other the whole time. *Takes a bite of noodles* *Becomes engrossed in the noodles* How could you possibly eat any other food? Minimal preparation time, the only thing you have to wash up is the fork, and it tastes damn good. I don't even think it's unhealthy, sure, it isn't exactly a balanced meal, but hey, you can't have it all. Read books Play games Eat tasty food Listen to lots of music and Spend time with those you love. Everyone should do all of those. Oh yeah, and move to Australia or Canada, whichever is closer. Vote me in when I run for President of The World. I'll make the place better I promise. G'night Current Mood: smiling Current Music: The Superman Lovers - Starlight (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 24th, 2002
4:19 pm	While thinking about what to name this I sneezed Well, today I certainly payed for my procrastination. Today, as days go, has been pretty lame. For starters, I've been sick for the last couple days, I'm rarely sick, don't smoke, take drugs, kiss strange girls in clubs etc. I also had a major research report, already overdue, to do, and it kept taking longer and longer, so I was getting little sleep. Well, I had to get it in today before my tutor cleared his pigeon hole, which he does early in the mornings. And I didn't get to sleep till 5 am last night. So after 2 hours sleep I woke up, hardly feeling my best, stood in the shower for a while, printed out my documents, underestimated how long I had, missed the first bus, and soon was running late for the second bus. As I left the house Mum said "have you checked to see if you've got every..." I cut her off "Mum I am too late, I just have to run" And run I did, dehydrated, drained from stress and sickness and in bad need of sleep. As I was approaching the bus stop the bus pulled up, three people had to get on, but it was a good distance away. "Great", thinks I. Well, I really had no chance but to RUN. Thankfully I can RUN, and I made it just in time. The bus driver laughed and congratulated me. I said "this is the 47 right?" he laughed more and said "yep, it woulda been unfortunate to run like that for the wrong bus". I tried to smile and collapsed on about the only free seat. I managed not to faint, though I was feeling mighty woozy, and dumped my report into my tutor's pigeon hole. The print job was awful, our printer is malfunctioning, I only out it in in an act of desparation. He won't be happy. So then I went to wrestle with the uni computers, in order to try and print out a decent copy, for the two tutors it had to go to (I wasn't content with the awful copy). Well, my success was minimal. As I don't have MSword, I lost some formatting, and I think I used up most of my print credit printing the document off in a locked room that I couldn't access, because I hadn't changed the target printer. In the end I managed to print out enough work to make a second copy that looked decent, and put it in my other tutors box. I really wasn't in the mood to wrestle with unprinatable diagrams and pay more money all day long, so one tutor will just have to deal with a shitty copy, and I'll have to deal with the mark I get for it. I grabbed some flavoured milk and an apple turnover at the uni cafe, I was unimpressed with both. I could barely taste anything. Then I ran for the bus again, and got home, looking forward to my cosy bed. But no. Remember how I cut off Mum? She was going to remind me to make sure I had my wallet (yes), work (yes), etc (yes), keys (NO) No keys. 9:30 in the morning. That's 5:30 hours before Toby gets home. No keys, no bed. *sigh* I think. There is a foldup bed (no pillow) in the cobweb infested shed that gets opened once every 3 months. I'm so damn tired I think I could fall asleep on it, in the shed. Oh yeah. It's the last week of Autumn in Canberra, and overcast. So we're talking around 5 degrees centigrade (40 fahrenheit) The shed is all metal an concrete, I unfold the bed and lay down. My feet are cold through the socks. It starts to rain, metal sed gets colder, my feet get colder. I eventually get up. brush the roaches off the wedge pillow and put it over my feet. My nose is dripping, but no tissues. I had crappy dreams. I was a secret agent etc, I had the silenced PP7 you get in Goldeneye. It was weird, anyhow, after shooting a couple ugly men point blank I wake up and it's 3:15. I get Toby to unlock the door, walk inside, talk to Mum on the phone "I was going to remind you to take your keys etc", and land in front of the computer. I now have tissues, water, food and heat. Sweet civilisation. What a stupid day. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Fragma - Toca's Miracle (club mix) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
1:44 pm	Unsolicited rambling I will not be meek! We should replace democracy with dictatorship. I don't want any stupid, selfish people dictating the course of humanity. (anyone interested in helping me start a coup please get in touch) Earn lots of money, but give it to charity, not the government. Who is this Iliàn guy? Why are all his friends attractive females? It seems that every time people come to clean our house, at least one of them I have never seen before. One was a youngish, scruffy lookin' bloke. I flipped my "colloquialism" switch and talked to him. Seemed reasonably bright, just miss-stepped somewhere along the way. I don't want to have 4 kids and no education at 30 years of age. He wants to go to university, to set an example for his kids, probably also desires something beyond cleaning wealthier people's homes. I wonder what his views on race/gender/sexuality are. I'm probably glad I don't know. I am told I think too much and don't smile enough. Everyone is surprised and happy because they think I am finally fulfilling their expectations of me. I'm actually just doing a satisfactory job with far too much ease. I'll get around to "realising my potential" when I care. No one ever comes close to realising their potential. I have a ridiculous amount of work to do in the next 24 hours. I made someone think. Bianca never lets me say more. I'm hot and proud of it, except when I'm embarassed about being so ugly. I'm less often ugly these days. "You must die, I alone am best" In order to be like me you must: Laugh so hard at Yoda in EP 2 that you nearly fall off your chair, can't see the screen properly through the tears in your eyes, and are left gasping for breath. Question everything. Always dress like it's 10 (18 in Fahrenheit) degrees warmer than it actually is, and eat ice creams no matter what the temperature is. Imagine. Totally immerse yourself in music, throw yourself around, sing along loudly, play air guitar and air drums, and hope like hell that no one ever catches you doing it. And... Be real dorky. Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: Static-X - Trance is the Motion (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002
3:21 am	Spleen venting I am so ANGRY. I don't know why, all I know is I wan't to do something destrutive. Something chillingly brutal. Kick a puppy. That self-righteous bitch who I should somehow permanently remove from my memory felt like adding her two cents in, in some niggling attempt to get back at me for something I did in the past. Fuck her. Fuck those who can't see how they treat others. Fuck me. I am sick to death of screwing up and having other people screw me up. Why isn't forgiveness natural? Why isn't understanding natural? Why are we as humans so inclined to think that our one fucking opinion is more important, more valid, more beleivable than six billion others? Why isn't there a general acceptance of the fact that everyone has different needs, different wants, different reasons different histories different fucking lives?!?! Why do we lay judgement so readily? what base need is there to promote oneself at another's loss? Why am I just like that too? Current Mood: irate Current Music: Hate (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 22nd, 2002
4:24 am	Pre-bed thoughts I was supposed to do schoolwork today. Nothing is due within the next two weeks, but there's alot due in the weeks following. Among the assignments is a 30 minute oral presentation. I have to find some way to turn an essay question into half an hour of interesting information. I volunteered to speak on the first day, again. I figure I have to do something proactive about my procrastinating. Going first means that you can't look bad (a standard is yet to be set), and because it will be number one of fifteen such talks, people will be more likely to be interested. Also to my advantage is the fact that the other person doing their talk on that date is, well, really bad. There is also a "research assignment". I can research anything, as long as it contains a survey/interviews or an observational study. The world is my oyster, yet I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. I'll probably end up doing something mundane like "sleeping habits" or "hours people spend online". The problem with doing something quirky like "age vs frequency of masturbation" is collating real data. Too many people will either lie or not answer. I need hidden cameras. Maybe I'll write a survey containing easy general knowledge and logic based questions, in an attempt to expose the stupidity and isolationism of the Australian public. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Le Tigre - Decepticon (4 Comments |Comment on this)
2:37 am	Musing about memories You know how there are are some songs that bring you back to your childhood, or just when you were happier? Well I've just been hit by a feeling of melancholy because I know that I'll never hear many of those songs again in my life, because the memories of them are beyond my conscious reach. Makes me wonder how many good times I've had that I've forgotten about. Memory is a strange thing. We've all had experiences that we will never relive, simply because they're lost in some back street in the neural pathways of our brains. No doubt in a few years I won't even remember I wrote this. I guess that's why a lot of people write diaries, not only are they an emotional outlet, but a record of your life. How much will it mean to me in 20 years to be able to come back and read about my life as it is now? I should probably write more, for my own sake. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: silence (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 17th, 2002
2:03 am	A haiku new magnum ice creams seven types for seven sins I will try them all (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 16th, 2002
1:42 am	Don't you hate forwards? A friend sent me this. Just goes to show, don't beleive everything you get sent. How do I know this selection of little known trivia is junk? I'll tell you at the end. See, if you can guess. Did you know? 1. Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts. 2. It is impossible to lick your elbow. 3. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out. 4. A shrimp's heart is in their head. 5. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second. 6. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so). 7. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. 8. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit 9. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas. 10. By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school. 11. On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime. 12. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. 13. Rats and horses can't vomit. 14. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. 15. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out. 16. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. 17. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. 18. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? 19. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. 20. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. 21. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. 22. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why. 23. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. 24. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders. 25. Most lipstick contains fish scales. 26. Cat's urine glows under a black light. 27. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. --- How did I know it was dodgy? Number 2. Impossible my ass. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Vast - Here (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 15th, 2002
11:35 pm	Assumptions and surprises Upon waking this morning I found Kris had replied to my email. It washed some of the bad taste from my mouth. Maggie is who she is, her behaviour shouldn't affect me. She isn't quite the same girl I thought she was, but who knows, she may be one day. At least I no longer have to wonder whether or not she really was my "dream girl". Cross off one item on my list of "things to do before I die". Kris mentioned she was planning on visiting Maggie in Australia, and proposed a meeting. Talk about a bolt from the blue, I never expected to meet Maggie or Kris in person and I'll have met both within the space of a couple months! I told Merina, my college companion and verbal sparring partner, her response was something like "jesus fucking christ, why don't you go and get a real girlfriend?!" Which was the sort of two second judgement I should expect from her. Even so it got under my skin, and I delivered a succinct reply, that earned me an apology. It really gets on my nerves when people jump to conclusions about me. Mum saw me talking to two girls working behind the counter at Sanity, a music store. She immediately assumed I was flirting with them, and was disappointed to hear that I wasn't. I wonder what she's trying to tell me. Current Mood: content Current Music: Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode (3 Comments |Comment on this)
2:53 am	People to meet Well, I might as well start it off with an interesting story. Some background: I was involved online with a girl named Maggie, from LA, around a year ago. We were something of an item for perhaps 6 months. At the time I thought she was my dream girlfriend, beautiful, smart, same interests, the works. We went our seperate ways when she decided she needed some "action". In January I reestablished contact after 4 months of silence. Some might say it was fortuitous timing, for she told me she was going to be in Australia for 10 weeks as of February. We met on her third day in the country. It was certainly an experience that put my nerves to the test. It's hard to remain cool, calm and collected when the girl you once thought to be the impossible fantasy is sitting next to you, and stealing your potato wedges. I didn't know what to think afterwards, only that I wanted to see her again. I wanted a chance to conquer my nerves, and relax with her, see how far off the mark we each were online, maybe even take the opportunity to do something we never could online. A kiss, if only for old times sake, although I don't know if I'd have gone through with it. Anyway, for 2 weeks I'd heard nothing from her, and then, today, she appeared online. What follows is an email to a mutual friend regarding the incident. My dearest Kris, You wanted the goss when it happened. Well, after 16 days? Of waiting, I got the answers I sought. You gave me two pieces of advice about Maggie, and both were spot on. #1. Don't let her beauty intimidate you. Point taken. I ended up being just as intimidated about the fact that she was Maggie though. #2. Don't get your heart broken. Point taken. She's breaking hearts, and mine isn't anywhere precarious. It's safe in another's hands. Well she appeared online today, so we had the chance to talk, and get things sorted. Here's the pieces of note. Maggie: The reason I haven't called is I lost my mobile. Maggie: I left it on the bus last Tuesday, and I can't make outgoing calls from my house.. Maggie: I haven't even called my mom in a week until today, and I was going to call you today, since I just got my new mobile, so don't feel too utterly left out. Maggie: I've tried calling your house from payphones before.. It runs out after litterally about a minute and a half. At this point I was glad at least that I hadn't been snobbed. But also reasonably certain that there was more to it. Small talk ensued, followed by... Maggie: I'm sort of seeing two guys, and I've been pretty busy leaving a trail of broken hearts since I got here.. Tristan: And the other reason for not calling is revealed.. Maggie: haha This made me angry and disappointed. Looking back and thinking about the reasons why, I come to the conclusion that I felt betrayed. My dream girl wasn't my dream girl, she was just a player, hahaha, I sound like such a girl. I was a little disappointed that I hadn't had the same effect on her that I used to, but I was prepared for that scenario. Tristan: So am I in the "been there, done that" category? Maggie: You're in the "Not in Sydney, not close enough" category. Tristan: The question was more a "are you going to want to see me again, or not" rather than "why aren't we seeing each other?" in that sense. Maggie: Yeah, if I come back to Canberra, sure. Tristan: Am I reason enough to come back to Canberra? Maggie: Honestly, I can't really afford to come back to Canberra just for you. Maggie: If Rhiannon goes back any time soon, I'll come with her, if I'm not super busy. That answers that, but leaves me with one last question, what don't I have that she thought I did? In any case, if she comes, I don't think I'll be too interested to see her. Tristan: Translation: Honestly, You aren't really the person I thought you were back then, so there isn't the same draw. Maggie: More like: Honestly, I'm really not the person I was back then, so there isn't the same draw Tristan: Intriguing. Tristan: Where did the person you want to be with, and the person I am, part ways? Tristan: ie. What do you now want, that I'm not. Maggie: Hmm. Maggie: Not sure exactly.. You're not the guys I'm seeing.. Tristan: I'm no one but me. Tristan: And that's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it. Yes, I'm corny, I know already. Maggie: This is true. Tristan: One difference [between the guys you're seeing and I]is that I don't set myself up to take a dive, unless they don't mind sharing. Maggie: How so? Tristan: Well one or both will crash hard, when they find out. Tristan: Or do they already know? Maggie: One knows. Tristan: Hahaha, and he's content with it? Maggie: Absolutely. Tristan: I'll leave you to your hedonism. Maggie: Last night, I was in the same room with both of them, just hanging out. Birds of a feather flock together, my plumage, however is a different shade. I don't envy those guys, I hope they know what they're doing. Maggie: But anyway, I should go. Tristan: goodbye Maggie: Bye.. Give me a call sometime. Tristan: perhaps Read as, "perhaps not". So there you have it, one more exciting episode in "The Life of Tristan Gall". Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice (3 Comments |Comment on this)